Parenting 201

I'm not a perfect parent. Let me just say that up front. And I know that Joel & I can do the best job that we are capable of doing, and yet our sons might make poor choices that lead them down a destructive or harmful path. We don't always give them the time that they need or deserve, and we often put our own needs before theirs. But at least 350 days out of the year, they know, without a doubt, that one of us will tuck them into bed at night. They know that one of us will be there to get them off to school. They know that one of us will be there to share the evening meal with them. And they know that either of us is there at a moment's notice if they have emergency or a need that simply cannot wait. They know that. And we live that. I pray that the job we are doing has been / will be enough to keep them safe and on the "right track," and lead them into a satisfying adult life in which they find meaning in what they do, and happiness with the one/s whom they share their life.

With that said, I now quote Republican Vice-Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin: "Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents," Sarah and Todd Palin said in the brief statement. "Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family," they added.

Bristol Palin is 17 years old, and pregnant. Not really a newsworthy thing in today's world...unless your mother is the token female conservative on the Republican's presidential ticket. Then it's on every news website. I found out from a facebook status message.

My first thought is that I feel sorry for this young, soon-to-be-wed mother and her soon-to-be-husband. I have had friends and family members who have begun their families in a similar way, and it's not easy. And while I know that the parents are not to blame for the indiscretions of their children, I can't help but wonder what this child's life has been like for the past few years. Who has been home for her, listening to her talk about her day and sharing laughs with her as they make snacks together? Who has tucked her in at night? Who has been signing the test papers and report cards that come home from school? Who has helped her deliver fundraising purchases for her school? Who has taken her back-to-school shopping? Who has tucked her in at night? Who has picked her up from school when the nurse has called saying she's not feeling well?

Maybe the vice-presidential nominee has done all this with her daughter--who knows? But if she has indeed done all (or even some) of the above, as well as run a state government, and stayed up-to-date on world and national politics and situations, then she is, indeed, Wonder Woman.

But I doubt it.

Or maybe Todd Palin, her dad has done this...in between his training and racing in the Iron Dog snowmobiling race (as well as recovering from injuries sustained in said races), and supposedly "taking care of the kids."

I know I might get lambasted for suggesting this, but I wonder...if Sarah Palin had not been so invested in her political career, and Todd Palin not so invested in his snowmobiling (he's the reigning co-champion of the Iron Dog) would things have been different for this young, unwed mother?

When people make a decision to have children, it often means making hard choices. Having one child is hard, having three is harder, and having five, including one with Down's Syndrome, must be even harder. And while I certainly don't believe that one's decision to marry and / or become a parent means that one must surrender all of his or her own dreams or goals, neither do I believe that when once decides to marry and / or become a parent she can continue to pursue individual goals and dreams in the same way that one can as a single person. Entering into a relationship of any kind means compromise and often sacrifice--it's just as simple as that. it doesn't mean LOSING ONE'S SELF, but it does mean working together for the good of the whole--which is often not what feels best to the individual.

I find it terribly disheartening that while Sarah Palin was off pursuing a high-profile political career and promoting her socially conservative agenda (which, I'm sure, includes abstinence-only sex education), and Todd Palin was off being the champion for Alaska's blue collar workers, or off definding his Iron Dog champion title on his snowmobile, their daughter Bristol turned to her boyfriend Levi for companionship, which led to intimacy, which will now lead to marriage at seventeen (because I suspect her parents didn't present her with any other choices...), and I sadly the end, or at least the significant delay, of many of her own hopes and dreams.

Even if Palin were the Democratic VP Candidate, I'd have a really hard time voting for her because I, as a mother myself, want to put the welfare of her 17 year-old daughter over my own political leanings.

But then again...who am I to judge? I just ache for Bristol. Because a road that would have been hard enough without the media attention has been made more difficult because of Sarah Palin's choices to pursue national political service. I pray that Obama and Biden have the decency to downplay this as much as possible. It has enough damaging power on its own without them mentioning it at all.

By the way, with the DNC behind us, middle son Daniel is supporting Obama-Biden with full force now. Thank you, God!